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  “I really don’t know, Li,” I admitted, placing my hands in between my thighs for warmth and sniffling, trying to keep my tears inside. God, I’m such a pussy. “I know this has to be something more than just some infatuation. I—I think I do.”

  “That’s all I needed to hear, Cash,” he said, tugging on the chains of my swing to pull me in for a hug as I softly cried. “As long as you love him too, everything will be alright.”

  twenty seven: reconcile

  Levi and I eventually made our way back to Kayla’s apartment about three hours later, hoping she was calm enough to want to speak to me. But my eyes widened once we made our way up the elevator when I saw Adonis standing at the door.

  It was strange, I hadn’t seen him in a month since he started his training at NAU over winter break. We haven’t spoken since then and I called him multiple times, but he ignored every attempt. When Adonis was mad at me, he could go weeks without talking to me.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked him, confusion clear in my voice. “Shouldn’t you be practicing on campus?”

  “A little hard to do when I left North Atlantic to go back to NYU,” he surprised me by saying and pulling me into a hug. Wow, this was weird. I expected him to be mad at me for way longer. “And also, a little hard when I beat up Justice again for touching my other baby sister.”

  I froze, my arms dropping to my sides loosely. He held me by the shoulders to look me in the eyes before pulling me back into a tight hug. “Why didn’t you tell me what happened, Cashmere? I’m your twin, you tell me everything, but you couldn’t tell me this?”

  This was too much for my emotions and the familiarity of my brother made my eyes well up with tears. “I-I couldn’t tell you. I was so ashamed—”

  “Shut up, please,” he said softly, still holding on to me. “I almost killed Justice when Wesley told me the truth in the locker room. Leo left the team, too. A lot of things on campus is changing.”

  We were hugging for a few moments more, before Levi cleared his throat. “Not that this isn’t touching, but you guys are blocking the doorway and I really have to piss.”

  “Who the fuck are you?” Adonis seethed, narrowing his eyes at me. “And why are you going into Kay’s apartment?”

  Ugh, the male ego. I would be intimated too if I was Adonis and I saw a perfect male specimen with my sister, and he was trying to go inside his girl’s apartment.

  “Chill, he’s my friend,” I calmed him down as Levi pushed his way into the door with an eye roll. “he grows on you.”

  His nostrils flaring and a vein in his neck looking like it was about to jump out of his brown skin. He was mad—no, livid. “She better not be thinking—”

  “Thinking what, Don?” I asked sharply, my eyes narrowing. I shook my head before going into the apartment with him hot on my heels. “You’re the same one who left right after she told you how she felt.”

  “I needed time, and I thought I was leaving New York for basketball,” He uttered, backing away from me and covering his face with his hands before getting in my face. “I had to drive all the way from NAU just now for this.”

  “So, you only like her now that you left Massachusetts? Real fucking nice, Don,” I chided, with an eye roll. I looked at her door, and it was closed even though I knew she was home. Adonis’ voice was loud enough to carry through the entire living room, so I knew she heard him. Adonis followed my eyes to her room door and went over to bang on her door.

  “Kay, open up!” He yelled, rattling the doorknob out of frustration and knocking harshly on the door. “It’s me!”

  I saw Levi take a step forward out of the corner of my eye, but I shook my head to indicate that it was cool. Adonis was mostly harmless. “She’ll talk to you when she’s ready to, but for now she needs space. Come back, she’s been going through a lot and to come here like this demanding an answer is not the way to go.”

  Adonis sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’ll be back every day until you hear me out, Kayla!”

  He then made his way back to main door, and he called to me before walking to the elevator. “You should go home too, Cash. Mom is kind of worried.”

  “She wasn’t worried when she slapped me in the face,” I said darkly, clenching my fist at the thought of the scratch currently still on my cheek. Every time I looked in the mirror lately, I’m reminded of my mother’s anger. “I’m not going back until she apologizes.”

  I then noticed a steaming cup of tea left lying on the table in front of the couch. I sighed and picked up the tea cup and walked to her room.

  “Kay? I have your tea,” I said, trying to take my jacket off and juggled the hot cup in my hand without trying to spill anything.

  I hear soft footsteps before she opened the door. She was crying and she opened to door wider before going to sit back in the bed.

  “He has some fucking nerve banging on my door like that,” Kayla eventually said, breaking the silence. “He’s the one who left, I don’t know why he’s acting like it’s the other way around.”

  I placed her drink on the nightstand before sitting next to her. “Let’s jump him.”

  She chuckled and shook her head. “I wish, he’d literally fling us over his shoulder like he used to when we were younger.”

  I laughed and leaned in for a hug, which she reciprocated. “I’m really sorry about what I said. This whole thing has me feeling all over the place, but that gives me no right to just say rude shit.”

  Kay smiled before shaking her head. “Don’t even worry about it. Understand that all this is really difficult to go through, so you get a pass for now. But say that shit any other time, and I’m punching your ass.”

  I laughed before getting more comfortable in the bed. “I get that, but you have to understand that you’re gonna have to eventually come to terms with Adonis. We know how stubborn he can get the it comes to things that involve him directly. He’s not going to let up on this one.”

  Tucking her legs underneath her body, she shifted herself so she could look at me. “I know, but until I cool down, I don’t want to talk to him just yet. I really do love him, and I really don’t know how.”

  I nodded before bringing her body into a side hug. “It’ll be okay. You’re beautiful and smart, and whatever you decide I know you can handle it.”

  “So can you,” She said, wrapping her arms around me. “You know, I think Zeus really cares for you and he just wants to see you happy. I mean, I don’t know him but based on how you say he was, he really does.”

  I sighed. “I have to focus on this case honestly before anything like that.”

  “And you do that,” she said, leaning her head on top of mine. “But after that, you guys have a lot to talk about.”

  three months later

  “Miss Rawlings, can you walk us through the events of that night?” Mr. Becker asked me, his spectacle clad eyes staring pointedly at me. We’d gone over these questions in preparation for the cross examination, but nothing could prepare me for sitting in the witness box with a clear view of Justice and Mr. Townsend.

  “I was at a party, and I was meeting my then boyfriend there. We broke up that same night and I started drinking to forget what happened and I took a pill.” I paused to recollect myself, because thinking about that night still made me shake.

  “What happened after that?” Miles coaxed; his voice gentle so I could answer the next question.

  “I went into the kitchen out of distress and Justice offered me a drink which I accepted,” I answered, swallowing hard. No amount of practice could prepare me for sitting in this room, with all eyes on me. I was starting to sweat. “After that, I-I don’t remember anything. I think I was probably drugged.”

  “Objection,” the defense lawyer said, standing up from her seat. “Speculation.”

  “Sustained,” the judge’s voice was loud. “Jury will disregard the last statement.”

  “What happened the next morning when you woke up?” Miles said, pac
ing back and forth in the open space on the court floor.

  “I found out that the video of me being assaulted had been spread around the basketball team,” I said, licking my lips out of nervousness. Miles already played the video in court as evidence, and I’m grateful I wasn’t on the stand at that moment. I could feel pitying stares from the jury, which let me know they saw it too.

  “Do you know why those two boys would do something like this?” He asked but was quickly shut down.

  “Objection, speculation again,” the defense spoke up once more. Her straight blonde hair reminded me of Jasmine, and I gritted my teeth in annoyance for even thinking about that dumb bitch.

  Miles shook his head. “Actually, Your Honor. This question isn’t asking her opinion, it questions the reasoning behind the whole ordeal.”

  “I’ll allow it,” Judge Mathers said, nodding her head. “You may answer the question, Miss Rawlings.”

  “It was a ploy for revenge against my twin brother because he didn’t attend NAU at first for basketball, and because I previously rejected the advances of Leo and Justice,” I explained. “Leo explained this part earlier.”

  “Tell us, Miss Rawlings, what did the school, or more importantly, the president do when you presented the video of yourself to the board?”

  I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. The longer this went on, the more my anxiety built up in my chest. “He wasn’t supposed to even be there, because his son was the one facing trouble. But he offered me three years of tuition if I signed a non-disclosure agreement, and I took it without knowing the legal ramifications.”

  “Did you know at the time that signing NDAs to suppress an event like this is illegal?”

  “No, I did not,” I answered, shaking my head. “I just thought that if I signed it, everything would go away and go back to normal.”

  “Did it?”

  “No. It was suppressed but it got worse and took a toll on my mental health until the video was spread again by him,” I responded, pointing and moving my gaze to Justice who was glaring at me with such hatred that I would’ve been hurt if I cared what he thought.

  “Let the record reflect that she just identified the defendant, Justice Greer,” Neil said, before sitting back in his seat. “Nothing further.”

  The defense lawyer, whose name was just going to be Blondie because I didn’t have the energy to recall what she said her name was in the deposition. “Miss Rawlings, do you drink or do drugs often?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yes, at parties. I’m a college student. My friends and I have a half pill method where we limit how much we put into our system.”

  “And what is this half pill method exactly?”

  “We bite off half a pill and give it to each other so we don’t take a whole one.”

  Blondie shuffled her papers on the tables. “Well, drug use is common with blackouts, correct?”

  I nodded slowly because I wasn’t sure where this was going. “Yes but—”

  “If your alcohol use is so common, how are you sure that it was my client that gave you the drug?” Blondie asked, her eyebrow raised and a small smile on her face.

  “W-what?” I stammered out, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

  “You said yourself, you and your friends do drugs constantly. How do you know that Justice is the one who gave you the drug that made you black out when you’re off consuming random half pills at parties?”

  “Objection!” Neil yelled, getting up from his seat. “Badgering.”

  “If there is a non-condescending question hidden in your statement, Counselor, I would advise you to ask it,” the judge warned, shaking her head.

  My palms were beginning to sweat, and I was starting to get nervous. Were they trying to spin this whole case on me? I was unable to give consent because of my incapacitated state, so what exactly was she trying to get at? My eyes moved to the rows behind the wooden barrier and I saw Kayla and Levi sitting in the first row. Kayla smiled at me reassuringly and Levi mouthed the word “breathe”.

  “I’ll rephrase: are you sure that Justice is the one who gave you the drug that caused you to pass out?”

  I paused, actually thinking to myself. Was I actually sure that what he gave me made me like this? What if that pill I took got me in that state?

  “Um, well he gave me a cup of beer—”

  “Miss Rawlings, I didn’t ask what drink he gave you. I asked if you’re sure he drugged you?”

  “I, um, I don’t know,” I admitted, grinding my teeth together in a way to keep my raging anger down. In my peripheral, I could see a smug smirk on the face of Justice, and I almost felt like crying.

  “Nothing further,” Blondie said, walking back over to the table.

  “Redirect, your honor?” Neil said, standing up from his seat. At the approval of the judge, he walked over to me. “Cashmere, do you see the ones who forced you to have oral sex against your will and without your consent in this courtroom today?”

  “Yes, they’re over there,” I said, pointing at the defendants’ table.

  “Let the record reflect that she is referring to Leo Townsend and Justice Greer. Nothing further,” he said, sending me a look before sitting back down.

  “After your last witness is called, the ruling will be heard tomorrow morning,” the judge banged the gavel and dismissed the court. “You may step down, Miss Rawlings.”

  I sighed before moving off the stand. Levi and Kayla rushed to me instantly.

  “Jesus, that was brutal,” Kay commented, shaking her head. “How are they still trying to prove that he didn’t drug you when they literally have them on camera saying otherwise?”

  “It’s just a tactic they’re using to tarnish the credibility of the witness,” Mr. Holdings said, patting my shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry, our case is rock solid.”

  “If you say so,” I quipped, biting my lip out of nervousness.

  “Get a good night’s sleep for tomorrow’s closing statements, and don’t stress too much!” He told me before pushing his way out of the wooden doors.

  I sat on the bench outside the courtroom, trying to relax and stop myself from hyperventilating. Being in that stuffy room with Justice staring back at me put me back in the helpless state I found myself in only a year ago.

  “Cashmere, take a deep breath,” Kay’s raspy voice calmed me down slightly. “It’ll all be over tomorrow.”

  “But what if it isn’t?” I panicked, shaking my head. “What if everyone is acquitted?”

  “At least Leo won’t be,” Levi told me. “He’s turning himself in after the trial.”

  I nodded. I was told this when I noticed he was on the witness list and showed my confusion. He was really serious when he initially apologized, and this only proved it.

  “C’mon, let’s go home,” Kay said, walking me down the hall and to the elevator.

  My phone rang when I was sitting on the couch watching television, and I looked at it to see Dreya’s name pop up on the screen. It was strange because even though we text a little, we didn’t really talk on the phone. When I left home, she was devastated and took it harder than anticipated.

  “Hey,” I answered, licking a spoon of Rocky Road and flicking through the channels. “What’s up?”

  “Bro, oh my God. You need to turn on ESPN, right fucking now,” she stammered out, urgency clear in her tone.

  I switched the channel and my heart froze. I knew I told Zeus to go into the draft early, but I didn’t think he’d listen to me. It just started and they were pointing out who was who in the selection process. Zeus' career highlights were flashing on the screen, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

  “Did you know he was going in this year?” I turned to see Kay standing behind me and leaning on the back of the couch.

  “I didn’t think he would actually do it,” I admitted, turning my head back to the screen.

  The first pick was a player from Texas A&M, and I only knew who he was because Levi and Dieg
o used to trash talk him and the way he played.

  I bit my nails nervously, hoping that Zeus was picked high in the draft. It was hard to come back from a low pick and I didn’t want him to get lost on the bench.

  “Cash!” Dreya yelled, and it surprised me because I forgot I was even on the phone. “I’m gonna FaceTime you because I hate holding the phone to my ear.”

  I picked up her call and propped her against the vase on the table in front of me.

  “With the second pick in the 2017 NFL Draft, the New York Giants select… Zeus Kassar, running back, Massachusetts!” The announcer called, and I felt the floor shift from underneath me.

  “Oh my god. Oh my god,” I said, my jaw basically unhinged from my face.

  Zeus, dressed to kill in a slim fitted suit, got up and kissed his mom on the cheek and gave his whole family a hug. He grinned dazzlingly at the camera and walked over to the podium to get his jersey.

  “Blue is definitely his color,” Kay commented, grasping my shoulder and rubbing it soothingly.

  My mind was still reeling. Zeus was coming here, to New York after the summer. He was going to be here.

  I was so out of it that I didn’t notice that they already announced the top five and almost missed the backstage interviews.

  “So, Zeus! How does it feel to be a Giant?” The interviewer asked him, and he smiled.

  “I’ve never been so stunned in my whole life, the second pick is unbelievable,” he admitted, his smile so radiant. My heart jumped at this sight, and I could feel myself tear up. I didn’t want to admit it, but I missed him so much. Seeing him on television living his dream only made it harder. “I’m just happy that I can be in the same city as the woman I’m in love with.”

  My eyes widened, and my lips slowly parted. Shock took over my senses. “Did—oh my god.”

  I could hear Dreya screaming at the top of her lungs over the phone, and I wish Levi didn’t have to be back at school so we could’ve watched this together.

  “There’s a woman?” The nosy ass man asked, putting the mic under Zeus' chin. “Who’s the special someone in your life?”