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  “Going through what you just did and then getting on a plane with no one to talk to?” He shook his head. “Probably not the best idea. You might just jump off the plane, who knows?”

  “Shut up, no boy will make me suicidal,” I said with an eye roll. “But I appreciate the offer, so let me try not the feel like death for the next five hours.”

  I forced a smile onto my face as I plugged my phone into the aux cord, but not even my music could bring me out of the slump I was in.

  How could everything fall apart so quickly? If I had left the school, I never would've met Zeus but I also never would've been forced out by the same event happening twice.

  “Hey.” Levi spoke to me, which snapped me out of my trance. “You mind if I tell you how I feel about all this?”

  I shrugged, not really caring much. Nothing he could say would make me feel any better.

  “Diego was always a dickhead, and I thought you were something different because it looked like he started to change for you, but as usual he’s a fucking idiot. Now Zeus… he changed so much from when I first met him. You made his eyes brighten when he talked about you, he smiled when I brought you up, and when you were frustrated or mad, so was he. I've never seen him like that in such a short period of time. If it weren't for Jasmine always clouding his logic and sense, maybe he'd open his eyes and understand that you're not always gonna be there. Hopefully he sees that now.”

  “Are you telling me this to make me feel bad?” I asked, leaning forward to look him in his face.

  “No, I just think my friends are so stupid, including you too,” He said, shaking his head. “If you all just talked to each other from the beginning and didn't beat around the bush, shit could've been so different.”

  I sighed, before turning the volume up to a Travis Scott song. “But alas, it's not and there's nothing I can do about it.”

  If only I could go back...

  Zeus

  I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing anymore.

  I've been sitting on the bench outside of Cash's dorm for about two hours for three reasons.

  One: Jasmine is still in my room, and she's been blowing up my phone to the point where I had to turn it off just to ignore her.

  Two: I am not trying to go to practice. I haven't been since Jasmine told me she was pregnant. I'm not trying to get knocked out by her uncle, and I'd like to spend the rest of the week without any non-game related bruises.

  Three: I miss Cash.

  It was taking everything in me to not fly to New York and try and make amends, but I knew I needed to give her space after everything that happened.

  Switching my phone back on, I immediately blocked Jasmine's number and checked my notifications. There was nothing from Cash (I expected that, obviously) but there was a text from Levi.

  levi: go and buy jasmine a pregnancy test…

  NOW.

  zeus: why

  levi: rawlings said she was playing the shit out of the both of you. buy it for her asap

  I put my phone into my pocket before standing up, but not before I saw Wesley walking across the courtyard. Rushing toward him, I tapped his shoulder.

  He turned around and raised an eyebrow. “Is there something I can do for you?”

  I swallowed nervously and scratched the back of my head before getting my words out. “Cash said to talk to you about what happened?”

  Understanding filled his eyes and he nodded. “Come on, let sit down and chat about this.”

  “This all happened eight months ago?” I asked, after Wesley recounted the events. “How did I not hear about this?”

  “It was kept to the basketball team since we all had to sign NDAs,” he explained, taking a sip of his coffee. We were at one of the campus coffeehouses. “It was very lowkey.”

  “Yeah,” I murmured, looking into the paper cup my tea was in. I wasn't much of a coffee drinker.

  “Where's Cash now?” He asked, looking at me. “I thought you'd be running across campus, groveling at her doorway for her to take you back.”

  I shook my head. “She's gone. She left campus this morning.”

  “For break?” He asked, his eyebrow raised.

  “No, for good,” I answered, rubbing my hands over my face. “She's transferring.”

  “You're kidding me,” he said, shaking his head. “She actually did it.”

  Drinking the last of my tea, I stood up. “I gotta run, but thanks for letting me know.”

  Wesley only shrugged his shoulder and kept drinking. “It was Cash’s request; I was just the messenger.”

  I exited the shop with a full head of steam. It was time for the moment of truth. After visiting the drug store, I walked to my dorm room and banged on the door.

  Jasmine answered it with a smile. “Hey, I was wonder—”

  I didn't even let her finish before I grabbed her wrist and dragged her into the bathroom.

  “Zeus, what the hell?” She screeched, trying to loosen herself from my grip but it was no use. I shut the door and threw the plastic bag in her face.

  “Pee on these goddamn sticks before I shove it into your urethra and test it myself,” I spat, sitting on the counter. “And I want to watch you do it.”

  Her mouth opened and closed like a fish, and I raised an eyebrow. “I'm waiting, and I don't have all day.”

  Slowly, she tugged her leggings to her knees and sat on the toilet. I opened both of the boxes and handed them to her, and she proceeded to urinate on them.

  This was probably embarrassing on her behalf, but I didn't care. She's been clowning me for the past week, and I wasn't about to let her slide.

  I set a five minute timer on my phone when she flushed the toilet and she tried to speak.

  “I don't want to hear anything you say until this timer rings,” I said, unlocking my phone again to check my notifications. No texts from Cash. Jasmine tried to reach out and touch me, but I cringed away. “You didn't even wash your hands. That’s gross.”

  I decided to text Cash instead of punking out like I did an hour ago.

  zeus: I'm so sorry

  She didn't respond, and I didn't expect her to honestly. I just wanted her to know how I felt. My phone buzzed, and I looked on the counter to see the stick indicate that she was in fact not pregnant.

  “Get the fuck out of my room,” I told her, jerking my head towards the door. “I don't want you coming near me ever again.”

  “In all fairness, it wasn't even my idea,” she explained, rolling her eyes. “It was Daddy’s idea. He didn't want you going into the draft so early because you make the department a lot of money. Getting knocked up was the easiest thing to do to stop that from happening and also get you away from that bitch. Too bad you couldn't actually get it up that night in October.”

  I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath before exhaling. “If you don't get out of my room in the next ten seconds, I am not responsible for my actions.”

  I wasn't going to hit her or anything. I'm not stupid or a woman beater. But if she was a man, what I would've done was indescribable. The door clicked shut and I hit the wall beside me to control my anger.

  Normally, I wasn't an angry person. I barely like confrontation to begin with and I solved most of my problems by ignoring them or smoking a few joints.

  But my patience was running thin with all the scheming happening around the campus, and I was sick and tired of this.

  twenty four: avenge

  I stood outside my doorstep, with my bags in hand and Levi by my side. It felt so odd being here since it was only a month prior that I was here for thanksgiving.

  Knocking on the door, I stepped back and leaned against the railing. I didn't want to be here, not at all. I just wanted to be back on the road with Levi, cracking jokes, fighting over the aux cord, and singing off tune to the radio.

  I wasn't emotionally ready to confront my mom, and the tear that fell from my eyes indicated that.

  “Cash, we don't have to be here if you—�
� Levi was cut off by the door opening, and Dreya looked at me before her eyes widened.

  “You are so dead,” she said, opening the double doors completely to let us both in. “The school just called the house and told her you withdrew.”

  “I didn't drop out if that’s what you’re thinking,” I said, but I heard my mother screaming in Amharic from where I stood.

  Oh god, I thought as Levi helped carry my bags into the foyer. Why is it that every time I come home, my mom was always upset?

  “Āmilakē, lemini yihini ḥit͟s’ani gari tewikenyi?” My mom was in the kitchen, her head in her hands. She had a notebook in front of her and a cup of tea.

  “Mom?” I called out, which caused her head to snap up.

  “What the blasted hell is going on with you, Cashmere?” She asked, standing up from the kitchen table. “Why have you dropped out—”

  “I didn't drop out,” I explained, dropping into a seat by her. “I transferred.”

  My mother's eyebrows raised. “You're switching schools? To where? Community college?”

  “Mom, can you please—” I had to take a deep breath of air before I could continue. I was going to lose my mind if she kept jumping to conclusions. “I’m transferring to Fordham, and Aunt Jela helped me with everything.”

  “But why?” She had the nerve to ask, and I finally blew up.

  “Do you really need to ask why?!” I yelled, running my hands through my hair. I was tired of never explaining myself or over explaining myself to the point where no one even could understand what I'm meant. “After everything that happened on campus, did you really expect me to just come back the next semester and everything would be all happy and a-oh-fucking-kay?”

  “Cashmere, remember who you're talking to,” my mother said sternly, her piercing gaze searing into my eyes. But I was tired, so tired of never saying anything.

  “I'm talking to the same woman who convinced me to stay on a campus with boys who sexually assaulted me on video and spread it around.” I shook my head. “You made me suffer through eight months just so you could save face and tell everyone that we're still doing fine, despite the fact that you have a fucked up husband that you can't stand, your only son picks fights he can't win, and your eldest daughter was drugged up and blowing guys on camera.”

  I anticipated a slap before I saw it coming so I had a little bit of time to psych myself up for it before it came. However, what I didn't know what that today of all days, she decided to wear her wedding band. Her hand slapped me and I felt the silver slice the skin on my cheek.

  “You should be ashamed of yourself,” she chastised, shaking your head. “Look at what you turned out to be. All this talk, talk, talk with your mouth open but you never listen. Sometimes I wonder why the making of that video didn't humble you.”

  In all my nineteen years, I never wanted to fight my mom. Even when she stopped me from going out to parties, yelled in my face, slapped me for being disrespectful in the past, no.

  But this? This made me ball my fists up and square my shoulders.

  “Cash.” Dreya grabbed my shoulder, but I jerked her off of me, unbothered. This was long overdue between her and I.

  “Cashmere.” It was now Levi who grabbed my shoulder and yanked me away from my mother. “You need to calm down before you do something you'll regret.”

  I have to admit, he was right. I wasn't levelheaded at all. Now that I was back home, I needed to learn to control my anger. It wasn't worth destroying myself over.

  Snatching my duffel off the floor, I strode towards the front door, not caring to close it because I knew Levi was hot on my heels.

  “Where are we going?” He asked, and I knew he was probably very confused because he expected to drop me off and be on his merry way home. Oh well.

  “A friend's.” my answer was vague, but necessary. “I'll give you directions.”

  Within seven minutes, we pulled up to Kayla's apartment building. I slid my bag into my shoulder and nervously rubbed my bare arms trying to warm them up in the cold weather. Since I rushed out so quickly, I forgot to pick up my coat that was resting in the foyer. Levi slid his jacket off his shoulders and wordlessly offered it to me, which I gladly accepted.

  We were in front of Kayla's door, and I hesitated before softly knocking. I mean, last time we spoke wasn't on the best of terms so I'm not sure what was going to go down.

  “Who is it?” I heard from behind the meta

  The door swung open and she flung herself into my arms, and I stumbled back in surprise.

  “Jesus Christ!” She cried out, hugging me tightly. “I messed up so bad!”

  “What happened?” I asked, concern in my eyes. I instantly forgot my drama. “Is everything okay?”

  “No, but worse,” she said, tears welling up in her eyes. “I told Adonis that I love him.”

  My jaw dropped, and my eyes widened. “You did what?”

  She was shaking in my arms, and I knew she wasn't kidding. “I put it all on the line before he left for North Atlantic. And he just… looked at me. I’ve never felt so embarrassed.”

  “Oh Kayla,” I said with a sigh, taking a step back to grasp her by the shoulders. It explained why he blew up on me so intensely, because we’ve gotten into arguments before never like that. “And then he left?”

  She sighed shakily before whispering, “Yeah.”

  “It’s been a few days since he’s been over there, are you sure he didn’t just have time to see how he felt?” I asked, setting a cup of tea in front of her on the coffee table. Levi was sitting on the fire escape smoking a loaned blunt from Kay to give us a bit of space to talk. And boy, did we need to.

  Adonis was someone who I knew didn’t exactly know how to say how he felt. After all, he dated girls I knew, and they all ran to me with the same issues of how unemotionally involved he was. With Kayla, it was different because she was so innocent and didn’t really have much experience dating guys. I knew that when she said she was in love with Adonis, I could see it. Her emotions were just too expressive. She was one to say how she felt just to get it off her chest if it was bothering her.

  Sometimes I wished I was more like her.

  “Time wouldn’t excuse how he said, ‘I can’t do this’ and walk out the door,” Kayla said, sniffling and blowing on the tea before taking a sip. “And this couldn’t have happened at a worse time! He just transferred to a school out of state, and I’m not going to be the person to hold him back. Ball means everything to him, and I'm not some hood bitch trying to trap him because his career is taking off.”

  My mind drifted to Jasmine's stunt, and the unopened text Zeus sent this afternoon. “Trust me, you don't have to be a hood bitch to do that shit.”

  She sighed before putting a smile on her face and perking up. “So, enough about me and my dram with your brother. Who is that sitting on the fire escape and what’s going on?”

  I chuckled before leaning back into the couch. “That's Levi. He's a friend.”

  "Zeus is no more? That was fast.” She said, her eyebrows raising. Kay must've seen the way my face changed because she leaned closer to me with concern. “What happened?”

  I told her the story of everything starting with Justice and Leo and ending with Diego and Jasmine. When I was finished, she silently stood up and walked towards the door.

  “Whoa, where are you going?” I asked flabbergasted. I tell her a story and she leaves?

  “I'm going to NAU so I can shoot Diego in his dick and fuck Zeus gently with a chainsaw,” she said calmly.

  I knew my friend, so I was frightened by her words. This is the same girl who stabbed my ex with a pencil “by accident” in the hallway and risked her education just for me. She was definitely no Isra, she was loyal to me in high school, and I knew that was never going to change.

  “Kay, relax,” I muttered with a resounding exhale. “Levi already took care of all that.”

  “The cutie out there? And you made him sit out on the fire escape?�
� Her disbelief was clear, but I didn't know why until she spoke. “He's basically one of us.”

  She walked over to the fire escape and poked her head out. It was only then that I realized she was wearing Adonis' basketball sweatshirt from high school and practically swimming in it. I smiled slightly before taking a sip of the tea I made for myself. If I had to choose anyone for Adonis to be with, it would be Kayla. He had to tell her he messed up because I wasn’t lying when I said I would murder him if he ever hurt her.

  My phone dinged, and I scrunched my face up when I saw an email pop up in my student account. To my surprise, it was Leo and the subject read: For Your Use.

  I almost didn’t want to open it out of fear, and it was clear from the way my heart was beating out my chest. What in the world could he be sending me that I could use? I wanted nothing to do with him and NAU any longer. But the curiosity was getting to me the more I tried to ignore it. Sighing, I opened the email and my eyes widened when I scanned the content of the message.

  There was a word document attached with a list of names, conference notes, and scanned copies of non-disclosure agreements that looked similar to mine that were signed by women who attended or used to attend the school. Among the list was my own name written in bold and underlined with the word “LEO” typed next to it.

  This had to be what Leo mentioned earlier about there being multiple people this happened to across campus. Some of the names I recognized as girls who were in my freshman seminar class or lived in my dorm last year, and I always wondered what happened to some who didn’t come back. But why was he sending me this? Didn’t he know his father was going to be one of the ones taken down with the information he sent me? When I got to the bottom of the list, the name Fiona Holdings stuck out to me. I felt like I heard that name before, but I didn’t remember from where.

  Quickly, I looked to see if I had her on any social media. Not finding her on any profile, I googled “Fiona Holdings NAU” to see if she at least had a professional profile that could show me a picture. When the search results came up, I gasped in shock and froze.