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“So how is that any fucking better?” I spat, making a face. “He’s fooled around with all my other friends. How are you different? And you hated him all of high school!”

  “It’s really not like that, Cash—”

  I scoffed, before walking over and grabbing Adonis by the back of his shirt and heaving him off the couch. “Let's go, we're going home.”

  He groaned and tried to slap my hands away, but I pinched the skin on the back of his neck so hard, he squealed before following me outside like a puppy with its tail between its legs. I didn’t care, he didn’t have the decency to tell me he was fucking my best friend, so why should I reciprocate the same energy?

  “Why the hell didn't you tell me about you and Kay?” I yelled at Adonis while repeatedly hitting him in the elevator. “It’s because you know you’re wrong, you fucking asshole!”

  “Ow!” He yelped, grabbing my hands before they could inflict real pain. “Chill out, Cash!”

  “She's my friend, Don!” I shoved him out the elevator, so he landed on the floor. “Why can't you stop doing this to me?”

  “This is not about you!” He finally yelled back, his voice hoarse. “Why do you always assume that it is? Why do you always think the worst of me, even though your friends all wanted me too, even after you warned them?! It's not always me!”

  I stood in front of him, astonished by how true most of what he was saying was. I spent years blaming my brother, that I forgot that it takes two to tango. I was just tired of losing friends because of him and truly if I lost Kay, it would be the biggest upset since she’s my best friend.

  “I'm sorry,” I said with a sigh. “It’s just that she hated you in high school, and I don’t understand how I come back to the city and all of a sudden, she doesn’t.”

  “Trust me, she made it clear she hated me, and I knew she couldn’t stand me back then,” he explained as we got into the elevator. “Then she came to an away game for Columbia versus my school, and she waited for me after the game was over to come back uptown. The energy was different after that.”

  “Okay, that’s kind of cute so I’m not that mad,” I responded after a moment. “Just don’t break her heart, because I’ll literally murder you in your sleep.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that, she’d kill me first,” he said, chuckling a bit to himself. “I really like her, Cash.”

  Aw, this was adorable! Seeing how genuinely he spoke, any semblance of anger I had lingering dissipated. He had to be serious and I could tell he was.

  It was silent for a few moments as we walked from the complex to the car, with Zeus lingering behind me, as if he was being cautious.

  “You know,” Adonis started, now being able to at least walk on his own to the car. “My coach told me some things to me last week and I want to run it by you before I make up my mind. It’s good news though.”

  My brother was a basketball player at NYU, and he hated the program because it was a Division III school, which means they barely got funding for the team. Even though they were the best in the league.

  I made an indication for him to start speaking and he did. “I think it'd be better to run it by Ma, too.”

  “Wait until tomorrow, so we could all be together at the table then.” The moment I was dreading the most. He nodded and smiled brightly, and I couldn't tell if it was because he was genuinely happy or because he was still high. Maybe both.

  “And I have other good news,” He started again once we were all seated in the car. “I stole three blunts off Kayla's table–”

  “Say no more,” I said, whipping my lighter out and holding out my palm.

  And even though I was impending doom and my life seemed to be falling apart at the seams, just for a moment, I was going to be alright.

  fifteen: strike

  Zeus drove all of us back to the house, his eyes red and glossy. His hand reached over the console and gripped mine before returning it to the wheel. The car smelled like weed and even though most of the smoke cleared, the air still felt thick.

  The sensation made me shiver, and I felt a wave of heat pass through my body. Groaning, I put my head in my hands and rubbed it over my face, which probably ruined my makeup. I felt aware of everything and nothing at the same time.

  “What's wrong?” He asked, taking his eyes off the road to look at me.

  “Tell me something I don’t know about you,” I finally said after a few minutes of stalling. I wanted to take my mind off of other feelings running through my body.

  “I have two sisters,” he divulged, squeezing my thigh. “Amana’s the youngest and Muna’s the oldest.”

  “You’re the only son in your household?” I said, shaking my head. “Man, I feel for your sisters. They must be going through a lot.”

  He chuckled. “Sometimes I wish I had an older brother to guide me on certain things. My dad’s always working, so he’s a non-factor.”

  It was clear that he was kind of upset about discussing his home life, since he tensed when discussing his father. From what he briefly mentioned to me before, his father was always traveling overseas for a shipping business he owned. I didn’t know he had sisters until now, but his dad was something of a sore subject.

  “You’re lucky, sometimes I wish I didn’t have a brother,” I said with an eyeroll as I looked through the rearview mirror at Adonis’ slumped form. “You want him? He’s a pain in my ass, honestly.”

  Zeus coughed, and glanced in the rear view mirror, probably to see if Adonis was still awake. It's been quiet back there for past fifteen minutes.

  “If y'all are wondering if I heard what you just said, I did,” Adonis' voice spoke up, although it was raspy. “And fuck you, Cash. I would never offer my baby sis to some random guy like you.”

  “For the last time, I am two minutes older than you,” I groaned, running my hand over my face for the hundredth time. I was really gonna get pimples if I didn't stop doing that. “Stop saying you're older to look better.”

  “Shit, I might as well be older with your childish ass,” he said, sucking his teeth.

  “Keep sucking your teeth and you aren't gonna have any left,” I spat back, elbowing him in the forehead when he leaned towards me from the backseat.

  “Cashmere Selassie mufuckin’ Rawlings—”

  “Your middle name is Selassie?” Zeus asked, his eyebrow raised as he glanced at me.

  “Yeah, it's Amharic—”

  “For trinity, I know,” he finished, which made me widen my eyes. He must've seen the look of confusion on my face because he then said, “Took an Intro to Amharic freshman year. Plus, one of my exes…”

  His voice trailed off when he saw the unnerving glare penetrating the side of his head. “Uh, never mind.”

  “Hey, I just realized we have both Greek mythology names,” Adonis piped up. “God of Thunder, and me—”

  “The handsome lover of Aphrodite, we know,” I interrupted, not wanting to hear his egotistical explanation. Why my mother named him Adonis was beyond me, it fueled his arrogance to another level.

  “My mom named me Zeus because of this loud roar of thunder she heard when she was giving birth to me,” Zeus replied, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m just glad she didn’t name me anything basic. I would’ve taken a Lebanese name over it, though.”

  We finally pulled up in front of our building, which had all of my cousins sitting on the steps. I could hear their laughing and conversation from the car, but my smile faded as soon as I saw Justice sitting on the top step, no longer laughing as he stared at my car.

  “Adonis, what the fuck is Justice doing at our house?” I asked calmly, turning around to look at him. He was supposed to be on back on my campus, since we go to the same school. Why was he in my house, trying to ruin my life again?

  He shrugged his shoulders and looked out the window with me. “Beats me. I haven't spoken to him ever since graduation when we split.”

  I could feel my skin starting to get hot as I glared at him, even though
he couldn't see me. “Get him off the damn steps.”

  But it's not until I see him reach over and grab Dreya by the waist, did I open the car door. Before I could yell, Adonis was out the car so fast, I think his own body must've forgotten he was still high.

  “Nigga if you don't back off my baby sister, I’m gonna have to beat your ass right here!” He yelled, yanking Justice up from his spot by the lapels of his leather jacket.

  “Is that Justice Greer?” Zeus took the opportunity to ask me, when I say back inside the car. “From the basketball team?”

  “Yeah,” I said with a sigh. “He used to be my brother's best friend.”

  His eyebrow raised, as Justice let out a loud chuckle and brushed Adonis off, before turning to Dreya and winking. “Hit me up so we can chill when I get back, alright?”

  Dreya, clearly uncomfortable, scoffed and shook her head. “Get off me, you asshole.”

  This boy done lost his damn mind! He's intentionally trying to rile up my brother, who would literally pop him in the mouth at any given time…

  …which was exactly what he did.

  “Fuck!” I cursed before running out the car. “Adonis, stop!”

  My cousins, Timmy and Ivan immediately jumped in the mix to pry my brother off Justice, who took several harsh (but well deserved) blows to his face. His nose began to bleed, but he still had the guile to laugh.

  “Aye, chill fam,” he coughed out, before smiling even though his teeth were coated in crimson. “Just wanted to see if your younger sister is as freaky as your twin.”

  I felt my jaw drop and Dreya gasp in shock, and Timmy let go of Adonis and put his hands up in surrender. “Only God can help you now with this one, man.”

  Ivan followed suit and Adonis wasted no time in continuing his beatdown on him.

  All of a sudden, icy water rained down on everyone on the porch and we all screamed before looking up to see what caused that.

  My mother, Kelly Rawlings was leaned out the second floor window, holding out a bucket. “If you fools don't stop fighting on my porch and get inside this house, boiling water is next!”

  Adonis shoved Justice off the steps and glared at him. “Let me catch you on my block and you’re gonna get worse than this when my mama can’t save you.”

  Justice laughed before spitting over the railing of the steps. “You can say whatever you want, Donny boy. But at the end of the day, you still play for a trash D3 school.”

  “Not for long,” Adonis responded before throwing his arm over my shoulder to lead me into the house.

  When we all got into the foyer, my mother was standing with her hands on her hips. “No child of mine will be fighting on my porch before those cops drive up and start shooting!”

  I opened my mouth to explain, but she cut me off. “Cashmere, you've been home all but five minutes and look at this—”

  Here we go. My mother's favorite thing to do was blame me for everything that goes wrong as soon as I come home, even before the incident happened. It seemed like me coming home just strengthened her case even more.

  “Don't even start with all that, Ma,” Adonis interjected, grabbing a dishrag from the kitchen door to dry his head. “It wasn't her fault. You know I'll fight even if Cash wasn't here.”

  Mom shook her head and snatched the dishrag away, before slapping his arm with it. She finally turned towards me and sighed, before smiling brightly. “Baby, welcome home. Everything's been a—”

  “'Mess lately'?” I finished for her, before crossing my arms. “That 'I wanted you home for summer break, but new tenants moved in'? I've heard all this before, but it's okay, we'll only be here for the weekend.”

  “Who the hell is we?” At the mention of more than one entity but myself, all the words I just voiced flew right over her head. “Cashmere, you brought people up in my house without asking me first?”

  “You don't even answer her phone calls, Ma, so how would she even be able to ask you?” Dreya defended, walking into kitchen and reaching her hand into the cookie jar.

  I sighed. This was getting too frustrating to even bother myself. If no one wanted me home, then I won't be home. I didn't need to be here.

  “You know what?” I said, moving back towards the door and grabbing my bag off the carpet of the hallway. “I'm tired, so if you want me gone, I'll leave and stay at a hotel.”

  “No!” My mom yelled, which made me jump a little at the volume of her voice. “We have empty guest rooms, and your old room is still just how you left it.”

  I sent her a small smile before looking through the open front door. “Zeus, Isra, come inside.”

  “Mom, this is Isra, my roommate. She's Habesha, too.” Isra smiled shyly and her eyes widened as my mom pulled her in for a hug. I chuckled a bit, knowing she didn't really like being touched for more than a second by people she didn't know.

  I knew my mom would get excited, because although she was born in Ethiopia, she moved here as a kid after her parents died and conformed to American culture so much that she almost forgot her roots.

  “And this is Zeus,” I introduced, slightly cringing at the words about to follow, “…my boyfriend.”

  My mom's bright smile dimmed, and I knew that those two words had set the mood for the entire weekend.

  “This is where you used to sleep in high school?” Zeus asked when I switched on the light to my old room. “When did you graduate, 2003?”

  I shoved his shoulder and rolled my eyes. “Sue me, I was in love with the 90s and all the shit that was in that decade.”

  He smiled before looking over to my bed. “You lost your virginity on that?”

  “No, I lost it to you the first night we had sex at that frat house,” I joked casually, placing my duffle on the center of the floor and starting to unpack.

  He was silent for a moment before he asked, “are you serious?”

  “Idiot, of course not!” I laughed, unfolding my clothes and putting it on top of my dresser. “It was way worse than that. It was in the backseat of a car when I went camping upstate with a group of friends my senior year of high school. Unromantic, to say the least because of all those fucking bugs. What about you?”

  He shrugged, before shaking his head. “Junior prom night. My girlfriend and I at the time were planning on losing it to each other, and we did. Next morning, found out from the team that she was loving the crew.”

  I winced sarcastically before chuckling a bit. “Ouch, what a bruise to your ego early on. Was it the head cheerleader, Tiffany? Or the dance captain, Mandy?”

  Sighing, he bit his lip. “It was actually the student body president, Jasmine.”

  I choked on my own spit when I heard that, and Zeus actually had to sit me up and pat me softly on the back to stop me from throwing my trachea up.

  “Are you okay?” He asked, rubbing me on the back as I caught my breath.

  “She took your virginity?” I asked for confirmation, my chest still heaving for air. When he nodded, I stood up which caused him to sigh and pull me back down onto his lap. I didn’t know that was how deep their history went. I knew he mentioned something about him and Diego going to school with Jasmine, but if he dated her then, it was years of their tumultuous relationship she had on me. I guess they’ve been on and off more times before I even knew what North Atlantic was.

  “Babe, relax,” he said, pressing his lips to mine in an effort to get me to continue to breathe, before leaving pecks down my neck. “No one has ever made me feel the way you have. Whatever history that is… it’s over.”

  I wrinkled my nose before hitting him upside the head. “Stop with all that, you'll make me blush. And I don't blush!”

  He chuckled and brushed his hand against my cheek. “Well, what do you call what you're doing right now?”

  I stayed silent while he laughed quietly.

  “I used to eat boys like you for breakfast. What the hell happened to me?”

  “Cash, you don't even eat breakfast.”

  “I
know, but I just wanted to sound badass just for a little bit.”

  sixteen: release

  It was eight in the morning when I woke up to the smell of food. I smiled before stretching my hands over my head and looking over my shoulder.

  Zeus was shirtless, with one arm over his eyes and one hand on his torso. He looked so… peaceful. To avoid waking him, I slowly lifted myself from the bed and pulled a pair of shorts on.

  When I got to the kitchen after freshening up, I saw my mom setting up utensils on the table with ga'at, along with a pot of buna.

  “Are you making Ethiopian food?” I asked my mom, before grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl.

  She looked at the apple in my hand, then at me before slapping the fruit out of my hand. “I did not slave over this stove since 5:30 to have you eat a fruit for breakfast.” Then she poked my stomach. “This is why you looked like a stick when we visited you last!”

  I backed away from her before rolling my eyes. “I'm gonna go watch the parade from the roof.”

  “Tell your two friends that breakfast will be ready at nine sharp,” her mother said, not glancing in my direction.

  Before going up to the roof, I poked into the guest room Isra was staying in and surprisingly she was already up. She looked up from her laptop and smiled. “Good morning, I was just finishing up an assignment.”

  I nodded before sitting next to her. “My mom is making Ethiopian food for most of the meals today. It's her way of 'reconnecting with her past'. Are you good with that?”

  Her eyes brightened. “Of course! We don't celebrate thanksgiving back home, but my mum always cooks up plenty when I say I'm coming home on holiday. It'll make me feel as if I actually visited.”

  “I'm glad,” I told her in response before patting her back. “Do you want to come up on the roof with me and watch the parade? We have a good view from here, believe it or not.”

  She nodded before following me towards the staircase. Once we got to the roof, I offered her a thick blanket, since it was cold outside and she draped it over her shoulders.