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  “I can't do that,” he said, trying to link his hand through my own, but I snatched it away.

  “Well, you have to,” I snapped, moving away from him.

  Diego finally decided to walk through the kitchen door with Levi in tow, holding a bottle in his hand. “Hey, I just saw…” his voice trailed off as he glanced between Zeus and I, a confused expression clear on his face.

  “What do you want, D?” Zeus asked, irritation clear in his voice.

  “I'm here with Cash,” he replied as he handed me an empty cup and waving the bottle of Jack. “Found Jack, the honey one.”

  “The best one, thank you,” I sent him a smile, completely ignoring Zeus as I turned around. “Let's go back out there.”

  Before we could leave, I heard a chuckle from Levi. “So you couldn't get your first choice and you wanted second best I see.”

  I didn't want for him to get to me, so I continued to walk away before I did something I regretted.

  “My bro Leo was right,” he said, and that name made my blood freeze within my body. “You're just a fucking whore who puts out for a whole team.”

  My whole body tensed as I paused in place, my limbs frozen in shock. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop the thoughts that emerged from that sentence. Leo… he knew Leo? Who knows what else he said about me?

  “Levi, what the fuck, bro?” Zeus said angrily, shoving him back so hard, his lower back hit the counter.

  “Whore,” I repeated to myself in a low voice, before I could feel the bile rise in my throat. The bottle slipped from my trembling hands and shatter on the floor.

  “Cash—” Diego couldn't finish his sentence before I went running out through the backdoor of the house and away from the party.

  I ran from the loud music within the house, I ran until I couldn't hear anything but my own pulse in my ears, I ran until my lungs couldn't take it anymore.

  That's what I do. I run.

  Collapsing on my knees, I gasped for air and I clawed at the grass to help steady myself. I had to breathe, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t breathe...

  “Cash! Hey!” I heard Diego's voice from behind me, but I didn't respond as I continued to take deep breaths.

  Suddenly, my view was blocked by Diego's head as I was turned over. He looked shocked, and he was breathing hard just like I was. “Are you alright?”

  I nodded, even though I was far from it. I didn’t want to explain what caused me to be like this. I was tired of scaring people away. “Yeah, I guess I just overreacted.”

  He lowered until he sat next to me on the grass. “No one overreacts like that, but I'll let you tell me when you're ready. That was a lot from Levi. He’s such a dick, but he doesn’t have a filter. Just know I’m here for you, okay?”

  It was in that moment that I knew there was more to Diego that meets the eye. He wasn't just some football player. He was my friend. After everything from last year, I wanted to cry again because of this revelation.

  “Maybe one day you'll tell me when you're ready too,” I murmured to him, tilting my head so I could look at him.

  Something told me Diego was hiding something, but as long as he was there for me, I was as well.

  He turned towards me and held out his large pinky. It was almost the size of my thumb. “Pinky promise?”

  I hooked my pinky with his and squeezed. “Swear until my last days.”

  nine: comeback

  “Okay guys, wrap it up!” Vanessa James, the editor of The North Atlantic Ledger and also my friend, said loudly to get everyone’s attention. “We have to go. I only booked the computer lab until two today.”

  I hit save on my most recent article, which was a short puff piece on the Reds’ winning game last week. It annoyed me to have to write about sports, especially football since I had to mention Levi and Zayn when they already wouldn’t leave my head. But since I had to alternate each week on the editorial column with puff pieces, I’d make sacrifices.

  Nessa was one of the fiercest people I knew at NAU. Her bright red hair was always styled fashionably, but today she let her natural hair sit atop her head in a neat afro. We weren’t very close last year, but once she became editor this year and we got to know each other, I realized she was stubborn yet willful.

  “Hey.” She walked up to me with her bag slung on her shoulder and walked out the building with me. She always had class after our meetings, and we made it a habit to walk toward the humanities building since it was towards the center of campus. “I missed you Saturday. What happened, I texted you.”

  “I got into it with one of the football players, so I ended up leaving,” I explained, shrugging my shoulders. She wiggled her eyebrows at me which made me shake my head. “Oh, not like that. We got into an argument.”

  She winced as we walked out the building and make our way to the student complex. “Must’ve been bad enough to leave the party. I met this cute girl and got her number. Also, some guy ended up doing a swan dive off the roof and almost broke his neck, so you didn’t really miss much unless you count that.”

  “So, it was a typical frat party,” I joked, and we both laughed before we arrived in front of her building.

  Nessa rolled her eyes and sighed. “I hate this class so much. All we do is watch movies about making movies. If I knew ‘Introduction to Film Studies’ was going to be more learning of prehistoric cameras instead of studying Hitchcock and Coppola, I would’ve dropped this class so fucking fast. Come sit with me in the lecture hall today, class will go by so much faster.”

  “Can’t, I’m meeting a friend for lunch in a few,” I declined her offer before giving her a hug. “Besides, you never pay attention when I’m in class with you!”

  Nessa rolled her eyes. “Ugh, is it Isra? If it is, cancel. You might as well come to class with me.”

  Oh god, not this again. Nessa did not like Isra at all, and she was clear about her distaste in her. Something happened between them freshman year at a party, and I didn’t know the full details about it. But Nessa took the time to dig at her any chance she got.

  “Stop it, she’s my friend,” I defended her, shaking my head.

  “I don’t trust her, but I’m not gonna get in between whatever friendship you have with the girl,” she said with a shrug before going through the doors. “Catch you later, though. Don’t forget to send me your topic for the column next week, I have to review it this time!”

  I said goodbye and made my way to the law library, where I was meeting Diego. A couple days passed without me seeing him because of practice and my paper’s meetings, and I was a little sad to say the least. They had a game coming up against St. John's on Saturday, which was their rival school.

  He texted me and wanted to meet by the law school library before his practice today so we could eat. I agreed only because I haven’t seen him in a while, and he offered to pay. And considering how empty my pockets were currently, I couldn't pass up free food.

  Sitting on a bench outside, I opened up my book and tucked my legs underneath myself. It was colder outside than anticipated, so I wrapped my windbreaker tighter around my body. Before my eyes could even move down the page, I felt someone sit next to me. When I turned to see who it was, I shot out of my seat.

  “What the hell do you want?” I spat, snatching my bag off the grass and moving away from the area.

  “Wait, please,” Levi pleaded, his hand jerking out to clasp onto my wrist. Immediately, I clenched my first and punched him in the face as hard as I could, not holding back at all.

  “Shit!” He grunted, stumbling back a large number of steps before tumbling to the ground. I got a good look in his face and I realized he already had a black eye. I just hit him, so it couldn’t have been me that hit him.

  If I was a cartoon character, there would have been steam blasting out of my ears. How dare he have the audacity to try and talk to me after what he said on Saturday?

  I was mad—no, livid.

  “Who do you think you are?” I asked whi
le rubbing my knuckles, almost wanting to kick his stomach with my boots. “You think you can insult me like you did on Friday and I'd be okay with that? You got me fucked up!”

  “Okay, okay!” He said, raising his hands as a sign of surrender. “Just hear me out!”

  I stepped back and crossed my arms, waiting for a proper explanation. After all, even if he apologizes, I still managed to punch him.

  He rubbed his cheek as he stood from the grass and grimaced at me. “Jesus, who taught you how to punch like that?”

  I shrugged. “My father was a Marine. I know all the basics of self-defense.”

  He was quiet for a minute before speaking again. “I'm just looking out for my best friend. Leo told me—”

  “Leo doesn't know shit and I don’t give a fuck what he told you,” I spat, shaking my head furiously. “If you wanted to know about me, you should’ve just asked me instead of gossiping like a little bitch.”

  “Well, I heard some things about you,” he admitted. “And calling you a whore in the middle of a party wasn't the way I should've approached it. I'm defensive when it comes to my friends, but I’m really sorry. That was too far.”

  I couldn't help but take his apology into consideration because he sounded genuinely sincere, but he embarrassed me in front of a lot of people that night. “I understand, but I really can’t accept your apology. You need to learn how to respect women, and you saying sorry to me won’t make up for all the times you’ve been an asshole.”

  He nodded. “I know, and I am. After what happened, I think I learned my lesson. Zeus hasn't really spoken to anyone outside of practice since that night. He fought me for what I said to you.”

  “Fought you?” I repeated incredulously, my eyebrows almost reaching the top of my edges. That must be where the bruise came from.

  It was a little hard to believe though, considering that there has been complete radio silence from Zeus’ end. I mean, I did tell him to leave me alone, but hey. I don't ever really know what I want.

  All I knew is that Zeus was plaguing my mind and his words didn’t match his actions. Until they did, I didn’t care.

  When he nodded in confirmation, I stretched out my hand and examined my newly done acrylic nails. “Well, good. He shouldn’t even care about me since he has a girlfriend—oh, wait no. He has a ‘not-girlfriend’, who he’s in a relationship with. Give me a fuckin’ break.”

  Levi stared at me before shaking his head. “Why are you being like this?”

  “Like what?” I was beginning to sound like a damn parrot with all this repeating. “I could be worse. You haven't seen me in petty mode yet.”

  He laughed and I could see the crinkles in his eyes as he smiled. If he wasn't such a dickhead, I would happily acknowledge his attractiveness.

  “Well, I have to get to my lab,” he said, brushing grass from his gym bag when he stood up. “Coach will have my ass if I'm late again. Professors are gonna start marking attendance.”

  I nodded and shifted in my seat as he started to walk away. Before he could get far, he stopped and turned back to me.

  “Give me your number,” he ordered, and I was surprised at his audacity. Was he being serious?

  He must've seen the look on my face because he rolled his eyes. “I'm not making a pass at you. I just need your number in case Zeus gets all emo again. I can't handle that shit anymore, especially when we have another game this week.”

  I shrugged. “Okay, even though Jasmine could probably do that job better than me.”

  As I typed my number into the keypad, he scoffed. “Jasmine? Oh please. She's got nothing on you.”

  As soon as those words left his mouth, he rolled his lips inward as if he said something he wasn't supposed to. A faint blush spread over his cheeks and he scratched at his stubble while I laughed.

  “Did I just make you blush?” I asked, clutching my stomach. “I can't believe this!”

  He shrugged, trying to look nonchalant when he knew he was embarrassed. “Shut up. You're very beautiful. I'm just saying that Jasmine isn't something you should worry about in the looks department.”

  Now it was my turn for my cheeks to heat up, even though he couldn't see it. “Why thank you.”

  He then checked his watch and swore. “Fuck, now I'm really late for class. I have to go, but I'll see you around Cashmere.”

  “Just Cash,” I corrected, as he jogged away to leave. “See you!”

  I shoved my hands into my pocket to warm them up. It was freezing outside, and I didn't really notice until now. I was only wearing a thin windbreaker, which did nothing to protect me from the biting cold.

  “Hey.” I swiveled around and saw a smiling Diego standing behind the bench, sweat dripping down onto his shirt. My mouth watered at the sight.

  “Hi,” I greeted, a smile settling onto my face. “You ready?”

  He nodded and I stood up. “Yeah, let's go. I have practice in an hour.”

  “Don't you guys ever get days off?” I asked as we walked to the dining hall.

  He shrugged. “If we have a game that week, we get the day after off. If we don't, we get Fridays off.”

  We entered the hall, which was surprisingly empty for a Thursday afternoon. Walking through the cafeteria area, we made our way over to the cashier so Diego could swipe his student ID. “How’s living with those two guys been for you?”

  Diego sighed and rolled his eyes. Clearly everything was putting a strain on him as well. “It was like living with the Real Housewives. They wouldn't stop arguing over the littlest things, and two nights ago they actually fought.”

  “So I've heard,” I said, grabbing waffle fries from the hot foods section. “Oh my god, is that oxtail? Holy shit.”

  “Yeah, the Caribbean Student Union had a program last night, so they gave the leftover food to the hall,” he explained as he scooped up a spoonful of the brown meat onto his plate. “How did you hear about the fight?”

  Nudging him out of the way, I plopped a heaping amount of meat on my plate. Diego gave me a wary look and I shrugged. “I'm from Harlem where food like this was available to me every day. I've been eating unseasoned food for the past few months, so spare me the looks. And to answer your question, I saw Levi like two seconds before you showed up.”

  “You and Levi?” He asked, disbelieving. “Since when?”

  “Since never,” I replied. “He gave me an apology, but I didn’t accept it. But I guess we’re okay-ish now. He did sound really sincere though.”

  We sat down in a booth and started to eat. “So, we have a home game this week, and I want you to sit in the front section near the field. We get reserved seats and you could bring a friend.”

  “I’ll think about it,” I said, before biting into my food. I tried not to gush about the fact that he asked me to sit front and center at a home game, a feat usually reserves for significant others. It made me a bit nervous, because what would that do to our friendship? And what would happen if Zeus saw?

  Zeus… I wish my thoughts didn’t always stray to him! It seemed like every time I tried to push him to the back of my mind, something always brought him right back.

  A couple minutes of silence passed before he spoke up again. “Damn, what the hell? You eat messier than a lion.”

  “Bro, this food was amazing,” I said, wiping my mouth clean with a napkin and rubbing my now bloated stomach. “I haven't been this full since I started going to school here.”

  He chuckled and pushed his plate away. “I think I'll just take this to go. Seeing you eat like that wounded my already fragile masculinity.”

  I laughed along with him, and we stood up and walked out of the dining hall. We walked towards the direction of my dorm before we exchanged goodbyes.

  “I'll be really busy with game day prep so if I don't see you, I'll text you,” he said, walking backwards as soon as we got to my building. “Or even better, watch me on SportsCenter!”

  Rolling my eyes, I walked into my building with a smile.
Being around Diego was honestly much easier. He was funny and simple. And also, very easy on the eyes.

  But I knew shit was about to get more complicated as I turned the corner of the hallway and saw Zeus, sitting on his gym bag in front of my door, texting away on his phone.

  I wanted to turn back around, but he already noticed me and sprung up from his seat. “Cash.”

  “What do you want?” I asked, hitching my bag higher up on my shoulder to busy my hands.

  “You,” he replied without hesitation, and I almost wanted to yell in annoyance. It was so back and forth with him, and it was getting me nowhere.

  “Listen,” I started but he got to me in two strides and intertwined my fingers within his own.

  “I broke things off with Jasmine,” he told me, and momentarily I was shocked before I recovered.

  “No, you didn't,” I brushed off his statement, and moved away from him. He couldn't be telling the truth when just a couple of days ago it was hard for him to even tell me the truth about her.

  “How are you going to tell me what I did?” He asked, now amused. “This isn't just some ploy to get some from you. I’m trying to be with you.”

  I blinked. Then I blinked again.

  “Who the hell are you, and what have you done with the real Zeus?” I questioned in astonishment. “I still think you’re lying.”

  He smiled down at me before nuzzling his nose into my neck. “I'm still the guy who made you orgasm how many times again? Was it three in one night—”

  “Alright,” I cut him off, no longer smiling as I pushed him away. “Don't get too ahead of yourself. I need proof, because I’m not an idiot.”

  Zeus shook his head before pulling up his text conversation with Jasmine. The texts were brutal, but he was right. He broke things off with her. “We exchanged some words before practice, but I’m over that toxic shit. I want to work for this. I want to work for you.”